The Wall of More herkz a.k.a. "Trying to edit this script would only lead to making it worse" Next is Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun. I was quite impressed. With Crunchyroll, that is. herkz himself said this about CR's editing of the show: "Trying to edit this script would only lead to making it worse (at least for me)." For once, I think he got something right (namely the last part). CR was so good (note that there's no comma here) I only got a couple of screenshots. herkz would only make this worse, because he can't into tenses either. herkz would only make this worse, because he can't into tenses either. Schools. It would be personally inconvenient? Personally, I think your English could use some improvement. , I totally believe herkz would make this worse if he tried to edit it. I also believe he couldn't tell you what's wrong with it. Well, the thing is that before they went in, she told him not to fight. She didn't tell him to not start a fight before they even go in. So, you could use a comma before "before" or (preferably) rephrase it to: "Before we went in, she told me not to fight." Here I would like to point out that editing is not herkz's only problem. I often hear people say that at least herkz retimes HS and typesets it. Well, the timing is far from great, so sometimes I wonder if he retimes it at all. These two lines were mistimed. One of them by about 20 seconds. As for the typesetting — that's even worse. Half of the time, the signs are not typeset at all... ...or they're, like, 10% typeset... ...and when they are typeset, I can't exactly say it's top quality work. Hadena-level typesetting right there. Excellent choice of colour, Sir. Japanese looks brown. English is somewhere in the range of yellow and green. For some reason, the number 2 has a different colour. This is a gradient with about 14% efficiency. Aside from being way too lazy to match the orientation of the paper, he's too lazy to even pick the right colour. After writing a bunch of typesetting reviews that mostly consisted of comments about not enough blur, this is the best he can do? Plus, the border on the top one has wrong colour again. (Well, the bottom one too, but not by that much.) Colours are hard. =/ Nice clipping... This is the kind of TS that's not completely terrible but still somehow bad enough to be annoying. I'm pretty sure that any of my interns could do a better job than this. Also, it's a "one-man" show. So as you can see, this is like typesetting from 2011 (that's ancient in terms of typesetting history) and isn't really significantly better than HorribleSubs. For the record, the reason why YuruYuri screenshots have a different font than the release is that I changed it. Standard Commie-issue LT Finnegan with pitch black border in a show that doesn't have anything close to black colour in it is just too much. You still yet have things to learn about the English language. Like the redundancy of using "still" and "yet" in the same sentence. Also the comma is wrong. Jose, no way! Strange word order. Not that it's not possible to use it, but it really didn't sound right here. This is pretty awkward phrasing, mainly because of the "it seems like" part. "It would probably be hard to walk, though." "It might be hard to walk like that, though." Wow, that looks pretty bad. At least make it "hot-spring-ish" if you want to go with that. Alternatively, I hear you can use an en-dash: "hot spring–ish". Terrible line splitting, terrible lack of a conjunction, terrible ending ellipsis for no good reason, etc. How is this Commie release better than Crunchyroll? I'm afraid your exclamation mark is in the wrong place. The typesetting in dialogue font, slightly intruding into that yellow stripe, is not that great either. That doesn't sound very good. "But I've never won a lottery." For somebody who claims, "I don't speak ESL", you're doing fine in that regard, I think. Just because you're from "commie" doesn't mean you have to put "commas" wherever you can. These don't belong there. The meaning without "especially" is not the same as with it. Therefore, it's restrictive, etc. We've been through this. I think I've mentioned googling "not only but also" before. This is a terrible Engrish construct. I'm sure you guys use it all the time in amerikka, but then, your educational system over there is worth fuck all. "There's ten times more pollen in the air than last year." That's English. If you really want to use "compared to" at all costs, you need to do something like: "There's ten times more pollen in the air now compared to last year." Otherwise, what are you comparing to "last year" in your sentence? Are you comparing "pollen in the air" and "last year"? Or is there more "pollen" in the air than there is "last year" in the air? (Well, there probably is because there should be none of "last year" in the air at all, but that hardly needs explaining.) She could eat her everyday curry, but eating her curry everyday is nonsense. Here's help for those struggling with the English language: http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/everyday.html This should be easy, but I see you need more help. http://crosswaterfarm.com/commas/2ic.html http://www.textbroker.com/content/commas-and-coordinating-conjunctions-fanboys "You had better apologize," unless the character talks like crap, which is not the case here. This makes no sense whatsoever. If you complain so much about how CR handled the puns and jokes, why don't you edit them? Why are you "editing" the show at all? Why don't you just save yourself the pointless effort and let people download HorribleSubs? If English is your first language and you come up with shit like this, then you probably should stop doing what you're doing. English is not my first language, but I can easily come up with at least five better ways to say this. "You're pretty energetic despite the heat." "You're pretty energetic even though it's so hot." "You're pretty energetic considering how hot it is." "You're pretty energetic for this heat." "The hot weather sure doesn't seem to be robbing you of your energy." You're using "still" and "yet" at the same time again. Also, that linebreak is so dumb. As editors of fansubs, we should learn something about using commas. Comma after "say". That apostrophe is incorrect. "self-centered" After 6 episodes of the same fail, I should mention that you suck at making chapters. In every episode, when you go the the "Part A" chapter, the episode title typeset is missing. Since I know I can do this right every single time, it shouldn't be too hard for anyone to learn it too. Comma before "and". "I supported you and Toshino, but I was really just ignoring my true feelings." "I supported you and Toshino but was really just ignoring my true feelings." Pick one. Stop doing it wrong. Same thing here. Comma after "time" would be nice. Otherwise it can lead to a misreading. That's kind of the opposite of what she's saying. Let's take this apart... "Kyouko, are you sure [that]..." What is she supposed to be sure about? "...you just don't want me touching your drawings." This would mean that it's established that Kyouko doesn't want her to touch the drawings, and Chinatsu is making sure. However, the whole scene is about Kyouko trying to HIDE the fact that she doesn't want Chinatsu to touch the drawings. The intended meaning, if I try to stay as close as possible to the wording, is this: "Kyouko, are you sure [that] it's not just that you don't want me touching your drawings?" Or with a different awkward-but-correct phrasing: "Kyouko, are you sure you don't just not want me touching your drawings?" (Yeah, it sounds bad, but that's what it means.) So, to actually edit this line and turn it into presentable English: "Kyouko, are you sure you're not just trying to keep me away from your drawings?" I honestly don't think herkz is up for the task. This looks pretty terrible, but at least it was changed from CR's line that was completely wrong. Good job, I guess? Comma, please. Comma, please. The wording is poor, too. "It's got two parts, so it's hard to sing it alone." Every morning she waits for the protagonist at her shoe locker, something bad happens. This is why you need commas in the right places. Having four nouns in a row is probably not the best way to say something. "The meeting of our final-exams study group will now begin!" "Time to begin the meeting of our final-exams study group!" This is not how kids talk. In fact, hardly anyone would say it. "You shouldn't slack off." Seriously, it's like you get more commas wrong than right. Seriously, it's like you get more commas wrong than right. Seriously, it's like you get more commas wrong than right. Well, it would be hard to do one without the other. What part of this show is edited? If I weren't lazy, I would find you a tutorial on conditionals. If I hadn't been lazy earlier, I would have found you a tutorial on conditionals already. If I'm not lazy in the near future, I might go and find you a tutorial on conditionals. I would like to say that since I'm not lazy, I'm looking for a tutorial on conditionals, but that would be a lie. You call this English? You gotta be joking. Then again, since you can't get even the very basics of grammar right, I can't imagine how you could possibly fix a line like this one. You took the words right out of my mouth, girl. Except that it feels pretty weird because a polite, respectful girl doesn't talk like this to her teacher. Oh, look. You got the chapters right in the last episode, so I actually saw the title. Well, it's definitely missing a comma after "Good Bye". It should probably also have a period after "Protagonist" and another one at the end. I suppose you were trying to stay as close to the Japanese as possible out of your great respect for the Japanese language and culture. Also, the colour is different from the Japanese. Whoa! I'm so shocked I can't believe my eyes! You got it right for the first goddamn time. I am as blinded by this unexpected event as the girls in the picture are by that halo. (Well, I know. Crunchyroll got it right, by some miracle, but still...) No reason for "I'd". Past perfect is used for something that happened before something that happened in the past. If there's no reference point in the past, past perfect makes no sense. Yeah, me and Restinpeace over there are gonna take care of things. At first, I thought this needs to be changed since I'm pretty sure she poisoned only the tomato. But then, the more I kept thinking about it, the more I felt like poisoning the whole supermarket would actually be befitting of an evil witch, so maybe you should keep this one (not that it occured to you to think about it). And we're back to SHS - Standard Herkz Sentences. These should actually be on the main Wall of Shame because they're so terrible, but somehow I'm sure there are too many people out there who couldn't see the problem. Why are commas so difficult? Please stop doing this. Pain. Suffering. ... Like I said, Commie gets EME wrong every time (except fnord). At first, I thought it was on purpose because Akari is dumb. But the Japanese doesn't sound off, and the other girls have no reactions showing that there are any mistakes. So I went to check HorribleSubs, and there were no mistakes there. There was also nothing archaic there because CR decided to ignore all jokes and puns, I guess. However, the fact that herkz (who is a native speaker and knows how English works) got every single one of those lines grammatically wrong doesn't strike me as something that improves the subtitles. For some reason, it reminds me of this. This calls for banging one's head against the wall. It should all be on the main Wall of Shame, but apparently only like 0.0001% of amurikans have any idea how this works, so I'll just keep it here. (Fact: Only two people in Commie can safely get this right. Neither of them is a native speaker.) herkz thinks that archaic language is formed by randomly inserting archaic suffixes into text. Thou wat, m8? The curious thing is, that even by randomly inserting archaic forms of words into text, you can get it right by accident. While this can be grammatically correct in some bizarre horror-movie context, I'm sorry to inform you that the "type" in "blood type" is a noun and has nothing to do with typing. Indeed. What does to you inquire about, Kyouko? I does not understand for you. Next stop: Moyashimon Missing comma. Also, I changed the font again before watching this because the original one was terrible. Getting colours right is too much effort... ...though matching blue with purple, like here in Sasami-san, takes the cake. I think herkz works in his own secret colorspace. I don't get why some editors like using so many ellipses and fragments instead of making actual sentences. This is a regular sentence, spoken without any extra pause or trailing off. "Since half of the rise is polished away" is a really stupid "sentence", especially when there's no reason for it. Missing comma. Try "This is how breweries work and how agriculture should work as well", if you want it to actually make sense. The missing comma before "so" is changing the meaning here. She's not saying that they steam the beans to make them heavy. She's complaining that they're heavy because they've been soaked. That's nice, but you should be able to tell the difference between a statement and a question? You dumbass?? I believe in English that's "softer". Of course it wouldn't be a real herkz episode without a Standard Herkz Sentence. Also, it's high-spirited. Also, that's a shitty linebreak. Amazingly, herkz specifically put the linebreak there. It was normally breaking after the comma, which wasn't cool enough because it made too much sense. Maybe he thought "the professor is so high" would be funny or something. I've heard herkz is like 12, so i guess it's possible. "Even still" is one of those things that happen to language when you let it drink a bottle of vodka and drag it through a sewer. Either use "even so" or "still", but please don't create these bastardisations. Either your sign is missing an exclamation mark, or... Double space. So that was episode one. herkz kind of confirmed that it was bad and said it was all fixed for BDs (or something like that). So I figured it would be fair to give it a chance, and I downloaded the first BD episode. True, most of the mistakes above were fixed. However, about the same amount of new mistakes made its way in. So here's episode 1, BD... "you said you were going to" By the way, here you can see why I changed the font. No, this is definitely not one sentence, and the first line is pretty damn confusing like that. You see why I find it strange when I see herkz laughing at CR's comma splices? "in the back" Please... Try thinking about what you're saying. Four days and four nights are exactly four days and four nights long. They're not endless. Hey, Tadayasu, I have to tell you something. Oikawa and the others come to stir up the rice every few hours... Except no, that's not what's going on. The thing is that Tadayasu, Oikawa, and the others come to stir up the rice... Now, serial commas aren't absolutely necessary, but when it can be confusing without them, and especially when you normally use them, there's no excuse for this. you guys', not your guys' (Also it's a comma splice.) I'm pretty sure it's "spreading rumors after all this time" and not "deserves it after all this time". This is one sentence. Well, it was before it met herkz. Now we have past perfect for no reason, a sentence split in two for no reason, first sentence ending with "but" and second starting with "so" to make them more awkward, and the second one not flowing with the first one at all. Ironically, the TV release had "I'd heard the rumors, but I didn't think you'd change this much." I'm guessing the TL was wrong (I assume that's why it changed for BD), but at least it was a meaningful sentence. So seeing that the BD didn't really do much better than the TV (if at all), I didn't bother redownloading the other episodes. No comma. low-key (and shitty linebreak) Double space. Needs a comma (unless it's about "night guys", you know, the guys who come out at night and creep behind you in dark alleys, and then...). This may or may not be correct. I don't know. I can't read it. "Hey bastards" are like "night guys"... Yeah, whatever. Sudden change of style... This is not how you use colons. "This is an ancient beast of Japanese fermentation: miso!" The time is rice! Beware! Also, look at that retarded line breaking. Look at this other retarded linebreak. Oh, sorry, you can't see it. Missing comma. Missing comma. One retarded linebreak, one sentence ending with a comma. (Yes, I comma spliced, but it's OK. I know what I'm doing.) Retarded line splitting. Retarded line breaking. No comma. No comma. Something feels really weird about this. Let's see... "take hold on to the" gives me 15 google results. Wonder why. There's definitely "hold on to" and "take hold of", but this is just too much of a clusterfuck. Somebody please edit this for me because I'm too busy building walls of shame. Yeah, get your attitude in both line and work! (Plus more stupid linebreaks.) "If even Hasegawa doesn't know..." What the fuck? What exactly are these commas supposed to accomplish? It would surprise me if you know [sic] how to use tenses. The "too" doesn't make sense here. She doesn't know, but the others know, too? This is so stupid, it looks like a Standard Herkz Sentence. How the hell is "good idea" part of the same sentence as the rest? Humans randomly speaking in microbe style... For the 486th time, "then" is not a conjunction. It's an adverb of time, like "later", "tomorrow", or "in the evening". This is one of the worst habits I see all the time. People type things like: "I'll have dinner then go out." Not even a comma (not that that would make it much better). Now try these: "I'll have dinner later go out." "I'll have dinner tomorrow go out." "I'll have dinner in the evening go out." See how retarded it looks? It's the same damn thing. It's absolutely, completely, unequivocally wrong. So again, it's either "I'll have dinner and then go out." or "I'll have dinner. Then I'll go out." "Yes! They said to leave the stall to them, and then suddenly this morning, they asked me to run it for them!" "Yes! They said to leave the stall to them. Then suddenly this morning, they asked me to run it for them!" Also, more retarded linebreaks. herkz best typesetter 487... Oh, even better. That comma kind of changes the meaning. Anything else you wanna do to this poor sentence? 488... Want to take a break later go out and buy a ring? I've been wondering about this typesetting for a while... Yeah, I know. This doesn't look like a mistake, huh? Except the actual line is "Hasegawa-sama" because this guy is pretty VIP, so for a kid to call him just "Hasegawa" is rude as fuck. Commie nuance: F. "food leftovers" or possibly "food left over". Hello, I am herkz and I will never learn when to use commas and when not. high-grade highest-grade (unless they are grade wines that are really high) Yes, Burgundy natives are supposed to lie out YOUR ass. Don't ask me how they should do it. I want nothing to do with this! he's been* It's been brought to my attention that the current line could be "translated" as: "He's a work acquaintance because my father is time." wine-drinking party This is slightly illogical because the girl is part of the "everyone here", but I know only like one editor who even considers things like this, so whatever. Matching white colour is difficult. Only the best of typesetters can do it. Those are technically comma splices. I usually don't even take screenshots of them because they're all over the place, but just saying... "Just because the chef isn't here doesn't mean I can send you home without feeding you a local specialty." That's either a comma splice or SHS. Come on. That's not what he's saying. He's not saying it's clear to him because they came here. He's saying it's been clear to him since they came here. "if we hadn't wanted to" Contracting the shit out of everything: check. Getting basic grammar right: nope. Kinda ironic that herkz uses past perfect in simple sentences with no reference to anything in the past, but when a third conditional comes up and he actually should use it... 489.