a.k.a. "i actually know how english works" No comma. If it's "so such-and-such that something", then there's no comma. Inconsistency. Comma after one "here," but not after the other. While this is not completely incorrect, if you want to call yourself an editor, "They wear the weirdest outfits on THEIR days off" would be a lot better. It's not completely clear whether "our" means the boys or includes the girls, or whether they have the same days off, so it would be a good edit for clarity. No comma. "last-minute" is an adjective. Try "at the last minute". Restrictive clause = no comma. No comma. (Crappy line breaking, too.) No comma before "yourself". No comma before "and". No comma. This is not really a question. (Actually, it's not even a sentence.) Comma splice. No comma. You guessed it... no comma. No comma here either. This makes no sense. Your line is saying: "Because I have to do some shopping, I can get home before the rain starts." Surely she could avoid the rain more easily if she didn't have to do any shopping. To give some context: Wien: Want to head to club practice together later? Wien: We're celebrating Taichi placing in the top eight. Wakana: Sorry, I have to do some shopping, so I can get home before the rain starts. At the very least, you have to drop the comma. The line is still somewhat unclear though, since it's not the shopping that will alow her to get home before the rain starts; it's skipping the club practice. This is implied by context, but not by grammar. It could use some rewording, like: "Sorry, I have shopping to do, and I'd like to get home before the rain starts." No comma, please. He can't be useful just by wanting to get better. He needs to actually get better to be useful. This is either a comma splice or a missing conjunction. Same here. "Then" is an adverb, not a conjunction. This may or may not have a comma (if the clauses are short), but at least make it consistent. No comma. Comma splice. No comma. (This was a response to "How are you feeling?") There should be a comma before "because" to prevent misreading. This would imply something like "They asked that you not participate because they can't be responsible for a minor getting hurt but because it you'd lose anyway." In other words, there's a difference between these two: "I don't want you to do it because you want to." (I want you to do it for another reason.) "I don't want you to do it, because you want to." (You want to, and I hate you, so I don't want you to do it. Just to spite you.) Typical commie habit of putting profanity in the mouth of somebody who speaks properly and wouldn't use it. This is even more sad because there was hardly any effort to edit at all in this show. If you're too lazy to edit more than 10 lines per episode, at least don't make the 10 worse. No comma. The second clause is necessary for the point she's making here. Please. It's like somebody took a bag of commas and dumped it on these scripts. Nope. Try one of these instead: Hopes and dreams are the power that moves humanity and keeps the Earth turning! Hopes and dreams are the power that moves humanity, and they keep the Earth turning! Hopes and dreams move humanity and keep the Earth turning! Getting it wrong two different ways is rather impressive. Comma splice, though not a big deal. It's a semicolon-type sentence, so it may fall in the realm of the acceptable. No comma. I think you mean an "h". Some of these lines don't sound like schoolgirls talking. They sound more like herkz talking. While before school, they are allowed. This should be "after-school". And we're back to scattering random commas left and right. Or are you saying the middle part can be omitted? "That song were both essentially your creations." I don't think so. Here, on the other hand, you'd have been correct in placing a comma... ...as would have been the case here. Unless "lately protecting" is a thing, there should be a comma after "lately". Aside from a minor comma splice, what's with the typesetting? Why is "ies" blue and "the Frogs" black? Clearly the light is falling on "the Frogs," not on "ies". I guess everything changed to no commas this episode. Why is there a comma before "alone"? The "alone" part is pretty essential. Couldn't. Nope. No comma. Keep trying. (Also, crappy line breaking.) No. The penalizing is still part of the "If". Comma splice. Comma after "competition". This could be misread as "the competition we signed" etc. Oh, no, not, you, too! OK, this may not be incorrect, but it's pretty terrible. Moving on to the next show... (yes, that was all one show) "there is that kind" or "there are those kinds" Comma please. It's not "the ball I kick at them and get to know them that way". It's "Save them from the ball, and get to know them that way". Pretty sure this is serif. Pretty sure this is rounded. Also handwritten. Btw, this is the stuff you laugh at when other groups do it. Just sayin'... I'm trying to come up with some obscure reason why somebody would put a comma here, but I can't. They're clearly inside, so try "outside of here". "bottom-right" would be hyphenated if it was used as an adjective. It is, however, being used as a noun, so no. More top-quality typesetting, this time with slightly wrong \frz. Comma. Poor phrasing. They were doing something I wasn't supposed to? At least make it "something I wasn't supposed to see". Alternatively, it can be rephrased to something like "I happened to see the president and Kurahashi doing something secret" or "I saw something the president and Kurahashi didn't want me to". The right way of the screw up is... up. The wrong way of the screw up is in any other direction than up. That is not what we're talking about here, though. It makes slightly more sense when changed to "screw-up", but "the way of the screw-up" implies something akin to "the way of the samurai". What you're looking for is "the right way of screwing up". This is happening so often, I'm gonna call it SHS - Standard Herkz Sentence. (Pun intended.) Nice font. Adverbs that modify the whole line should be separated by a comma. It's more obvious when it's not a question. Then we could each come up... (at that time) Then, we could each come up... (in that case) SHS. Either period or no comma, depending on meaning. Just be the president then, and I'll be the president now. (Comma would be good.) Herkz is the #2 guy to go to when you need weird/pointless contractions. He uses geysers too, like brainchild. This's pronounced "thissszzz". If I were herkz, I could even have written, "This's's pronounced "thissszzz"." Thank god her name wasn't Jill, because people who write "this's" are clearly dumb enough to write "Jill'll". Strangely, this kind of shit always ends up being said by those who speak most properly, like class reps, club presidents, etc. Also strangely, he uses commas before "though" which can only mean one thing and thus the line can't be misread, but not before "then". This is pronounced "theezzzvvv". It's a bit more difficult to pronounce than "these have," but by all means, go for it. Japanese is brown, English is black (eyedropper tells me it's actually in the blue range). Another SHS. Nice mask, but wrong colour. Also, really poor and unclear phrasing. Nice typesetting, but where is it? Wait. Is this commie or horriblesubs? "put your mind to it" You're putting your mind to doing the things, not to the things. This one can't even get the tenses right. Can if she puts. Could if she put. Yet another SHS. This should be "either". How many times have I seen herkz laugh at CR with "tenses are hard"... It's kind of bad to use the general "you" when she's actually talking about both of them. "talk to us" would be a lot better. Sounds like: herkz, maybe. Definitely does not sound like: Maki. Past perfect for something that happened after something you described with past simple = brilliant. Also, you're missing a comma. If I ever go to amerika, I will ask random schoolgirls this question to find out how many of them will have any clue what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm betting on zero. I will also try to find out how many people actually talk like this. I'm betting on zero. This might be one of the weirdest lines I've ever seen in subs, and I've seen at least two episodes by Hadena. "kinda" may work for Riko, but definitely not for Maki. Who was looking at Maki? The boys? Nope. The girl talking. Therefore, a comma after "boys" would be appreciated. Actually, make it "I-It's not like I got scared of boys or anything, looking at how Maki wa acting earlier! Okay?" because the current phrasing is pretty clumsy. This might be a good time to say that if you want to (pretend to) be an editor, learning something about comma usage would be helpful. This is a rather poor choice of words for both lines, especially since they're the first two lines in the episode. It's quite unclear what they're talking about. You Commie editors're awful. Sounds like somebody is looking up to brainchild and uses awkward lines that don't fit the character at all. Just to make a point: This one's OK. The words themselves are not the problem. The problem is that Riko (this girl) is about the only one of the whole gang that talks like this. The two examples show the same type of sentence, but one uses a comma and the other one doesn't. How often do I see herkz laugh at CR for being inconsistent? Quite often. That's not a real word, unless Urban Dictionary is your preferred dictionary. Mizushima doesn't strike me as a big fan of UD. But hey, at least you didn't fuck up anything el— Wait. Six monthiversary? That's like "six anniversary". I guess you could learn something about using hyphens once you figure out the basics of using commas, but that sounds like too much effort. Maybe you should just stick to using words that exist, and keep things simple. Nope. That is not how these girls talk. At all. As I was just saying... When you get to that whole "how do I into commas and hyphens" business, throw in something about apostrophes. Oh, just in case you misunderstood: The one you used is not wrong. The one you didn't use is. You have to forgive herkz. Removing honorifics and making contractions is the only kind of "editing" he knows how to do well, so he puts all his effort into it. You could even say too much effort in the case of words like "this's". Well, it went so quickly that there isn't really much to say about it. herkz — too quick for commas. "1984 The Anime" puts a whole new spin on the Big Brother agenda... (I'm afraid nobody in Commie gets this =/) Oh look, another SHS, aka some of the worst misuse of commas there is. Here, take this: \bord2 How does any of this TS match anything?? Also, I think I was too quick to praise herk'z effort regarding contractions. I wonder why this one stayed as "This is". Maybe he was too busy matching the TS to the Japanese. You don't use a comma after "but". I mean, you clearly do, but you shouldn't. Grey and brown are different colours. This can be misread pretty easily, so you could do something like... edit it, maybe. That's nice and all, but it doesn't fit the character. Standard amerikan elementary school vocabulary, I suppose? I wonder where you went to school... I guess this is not exactly wrong, but i still can't figure out why the "surely" is at the end and not the beginning. Maybe if it was Zetsuen's Samon-dono philosophising, but an angry schoolgirl... Seems awkward. I thought this didn't make much sense, so I showed it to a native speaker without context, and they got the meaning of the line completely wrong. Seems like another one of those darn lines that might require some editing. Scary. Yeah, that would be a problem. I mean, it would be bad enough if those yatsus got picky OR choosy, let alone both! Random insertion of comma, hoping to get it right: fail. It will be funny if people found out herkz couldn't into English grammar. ...and that was show #2. Some ~70 screenshots + about 30 more on the main Wall of Shame. Pretty impressive for "i actually know how english works". Next is Silver Spoon, which is not too bad, since CR did a much better job there than on Tari Tari, so there are fewer mistakes for herkz to leave in. Let's start with this cool typeset. It's in most episodes, and it's randomply misaligned at times. I don't know why. How long till herkz learns that "then" is not a conjunction? Obligatory geysers, and obligatory bad commas (the second one). It's pretty clear from context that the intended meaning for the top line is the one with a comma after "them". Also, "since" would make it clearer than "when". Seriously, this is bad. =/ How can somebody calling themselves an editor miss so many commas that should be there and put in so many commas that shouldn't? This is almost like random-comma generator. No comma after "dream". The second line is still a part of the "even if". T_T pls halp This should be "fewer". It should also be "There are". I can't really claim this is a "mistake", but I can't for the love of god figure out why the "Hey" would be after the "It stopped" and not before it. It sounds kind of dumb when you say it out loud. Same shit, different episode... I'm afraid you chose the wrong way to translate "yappari" because this doesn't make sense. Following "I knew you would" with "I thought you might" just doesn't work. Try something like "So you came to drop by, after all!" No. No. No. The point is not that we say it even if their brains are rotten. The point is that they can live even if their brains are rotten. This is why commas exist, you know? To prevent misreading and clear up which of two possible meanings is the intended one. Please explain what "them" is referring to. Because if you're killing lives, you're doing it wrong. Also the comma is wrong, but that was to be expected, wasn't it. (<- Period because it's rhetorical. [Sorry for the highlight.]) This is the kind of line you look at and go "Whoa, what? What happened here?" Well, I'll tell you what didn't happen. This line didn't pass an editor's eyes. First of all, the tenses are clearly wrong. It shouldn't be that hard to get them right... although I admit it would require actually looking at the line. Secondly, the line reads pretty awkwardly and includes possible misreadings, like "we'll need to be instantly tens of millions in the hole". The point of editing is not to remove honorifics, add contractions, and translate tsundere to hot'n'cold. The point of editing is to make lines grammatically correct (unless the character talks like shit), make them clear in meaning (unless the character talks like shit), and make the dialogue flow well (unless the character talks like shit). herkz doesn't seem to be concerned with any of these things whatsoever at all. Yes, whatsoever at all. That bad. (Or maybe he just thinks every character talks like shit.) I think you were looking for "at the top", but I'm glad you're on top of things. Considering that there wasn't even any pause between the two lines, I wonder what you're doing here. Personally, I would also suggest that starting with "Now that" and ending with "today" doesn't really flow well. Apparently, tenses are yet another thing herkz can't seem to get right. I don't know how you guys do things in amerika, but in the rest of the world, flour doesn't grow. Crops do. These Standard Herkz Sentences are starting to hurt my brain. When shown to a native speaker, they got a completely different meaning out of it. The word you're looking for here (or would be looking for if you actually bothered) is something like "reckless" or "careless". It feels kind of bad to post the same mistakes over and over, but I'm hoping that sooner or later it will force someone to learn some English grammar. While this may be acceptable, like "god save the queen", I'm pretty sure that that the intention was to say "Goddamn teachers!" One out of these three commas is correct. Congratulations! It's much better than 100% fail! "Then" is not a conjunction. Commie a shit. Dropped. Also, if you actually wanted to edit the line, I got this nice suggestion from somebody: "Take him out to the exercise pen around this time of day and then back to the stables around noon." Sorry. Your random-comma generator hit the wrong line again. Sorry. Your random-comma generator missed the right line again. Oh, god... Second line: Why in the bloody hell would you put a comma after "members"? I don't even... Third: Why is there "I'd hoped"? That doesn't add up. "In these modern times, I had hoped"? Why is there an ellipsis instead of a comma? There isn't even a pause in the audio. All that's missing is "guys've". Please google "not only but also", and learn how to properly form a sentence of this type. Not bad. You got two commas right. (Okay, Crunchyroll got them right.) One is still missing, though. Took me a while to figure out what "ag" means, and I wasn't the only one. Some searching showed that "ag" can mean about a hundred things. Maybe making the line clearer wouldn't be bad. The second part is quite essential for the meaning, which means it's restrictive, which means no comma. Some people say, "At least herkz adds typesetting to HS." But is this really any better than HS? The least you could do is not let it overlap with those lines. No. No comma. You're changing the meaning again. The first line is not a whole sentence. You can't start with "not only" and not finish with the "but also" part. "People with deep empathy are not only struck by wonder when flowers are in full bloom, but they also experience joy when flowers are about to bloom(,) and melancholy when flowers wilt and fade away." There is no good reason why this should be "hadn't" instead of "haven't". Halp! A meat hunt is targeting me! While personification of a meat hunt is pretty funny, I wouldn't go as far as calling it good editing. "I'll become a target of a meat hunt!" might sound less ridiculous. Those three guys are shouting this line in unison. You can get the feeling from the picture. I've been trying to imagine three guys shouting "Uh" in unison, but it's not working. Welp, that's the third time. I guess herkz really doesn't get it. If, by any chance, he'd like to argue that it's to prevent misreading, which would be bullshit because that would be the first time he ever cared about a misreading, it could be changed to "I'll ask him myself!" Besides, the line would cause just as much of a mishearing as it would cause a misreading, so a comma hardly helps anyway. I can see that you're slowly getting into the business of using hyphens, but i'm afraid you're doing it wrong. You want an adverb here, not an adjective — unless you normally say, "That house is distant," rather than "That house is far." Aside from the awkward phrasing, you're missing a period. It's "nerve-racking" or "nerve-wracking". The last part is restrictive, so no comma. Also, this line naturally breaks after "livestock", and you normally don't use linebreaks, so I don't get why you'd go out of your way to put a linebreak in a weird place when it was perfectly fine without it. 'Sup, bro? How's it all been? I assure you the principal definitely doesn't talk like that. And I can almost hear you say, "Wasn't me. That was crunchyroll." If that's your excuse and you're going to continue to blame all your mistakes on translators (like you blamed all the missing words in Love Lab on Futsuu), please stop editing, because an "editor" who can't fix or even find mistakes is worthless. |