The Other Wall of Shame
a.k.a.
>Commie >QC


While the original Wall of Shame contains things that should be obvious without explanation, I come across a lot of smaller mistakes, and since Commie stubbornly refuses to QC stuff, claiming it's not useful, I'm gonna post evidence to the contrary.
Some of the things posted here may be just poor editing rather than grammatical mistakes.



The Wall of herkz

I had to separate herkz even here, since his contribution is much larger than all the others' combined.


blankley | brainchild | Csiko | DxS | Hdr | skiddiks


blankley:




Not sure what you were trying to do here...




Nice colours. It may be a fade, but it was, like, over 5 seconds.




Japanese: left is dark, right is light
English: top is dark, bottom is light
???
At least it doesn't say "Squid".





brainchild:
"anything i edit will never have a misplaced comma"




Genius. This was supposedly on purpose. Probably not even intended as trolling.
So anyway, this is a pretty lame thing to do in subtitles, and even if it was intentional, he still screwed it up. The "he" would have to be [you] as well. Either quote it properly, or paraphrase it.




I have it on good authority that the word is "ruder".




"compared to me she's better than me"?
Try one of these instead:
"Compared to me when I was just starting, she's way better."
"She's way better than me when I was just starting."




This line would work for Hasebe, but Miyoshi speaks more properly than most of the others, so this doesn't fit her character.
Of course, brainchild is notoriously known to utterly and completely (yes, that much) ignore characters' personality.




I don't think he's the manager of the stuffed animal section. It might work better with different wording.
Plush/plushie section manager? Or at least "stuffed-animal section manager".
I'm surprised he didn't go with "section manager puppet".
(For those who don't know, for certain reasons, the section manager actually is a stuffed animal.)




Now, this is not necessarily a grammatically wrong sentence in itself, but the meaning with the comma after "out" is different from the meaing intended. Not getting in her way is not a random consequence; it's the purpose.
Comma: "...I'm usually out here zoning out [and thanks to that, I don't get in her way]"
Not comma: "...I'm usually out here zoning out [in order to avoid getting in her way]"
Also, "out here zoning out" is not that great.
Also, "She's probably home, so I'm usually..." doesn't make sense.




Most people use contractions because it makes speech shorter.
Brainchild does it (often with them not making anything shorter or being unpronounceable) 'cause he thinks it makes him cool.
This one's pronounced "thererrrRRR".




This one is "thingzzzvvv".




This one sounds like (a) geyser.




Am I gonna contract everything I can? Absolutely! ('cause'm so'wesom')
Am I gonna consider the character's personality and whether they'd actually say it? FUCK NO!




I'm sure the word "supermarket" evolved from "super market" at some point, but I'm also pretty sure we settled on "supermarket" long ago.




That makes five misplaced commas (including main Wall of Shame) and counting.
"Since" without a comma would imply "from the time when". This one, however, means "because".
It's a rare case, just as it's rare to have a comma before "because", but it should be used to prevent misreading.




There are many ways to split a line. You, sir, are doing it wrong.




Seriously, I don't know if he's doing it on purpose. Sure, it's technically not a "mistake", but it adds to or detracts from the flow of the script. It also shows whether the editor actually cares about the quality of the script or just doesn't give a fuck.




I kind of understand that services with shitty players, like CR, have to split by line length sometimes, but this has no purpose and no logical reason.




So at the same time when good things can cause huge regrets (I don't know when that will be), something will be good later.
This is pretty FUBAR. If I'm getting right what the meaning should be, it should probably go like this:
It'll Be Good Later. At the Same Time, Good Things Can Cause Huge Regrets."
Alternatively, they could be joined with a "but" or "and".
Anyway, this prompted me to go back and check the other episode titles.




...
A feeling so complicated...




Dear Self-Prevention, there are people where you can't see (period [and some other stuff] omitted)




I suppose we can examine hide-and-seek, though I'm not so sure it was the intention. I had the title TLCed, and apparently, it doesn't make any sense in Japanese either, so I'll let this one slip.




The title is awkwardly phrased at the very least.
Also, period is the new exclamation mark, and empty space is the new period.
No, seriously. The first one is OK, but if you have a period in the middle, why is there none at the end?




Just another weird title. Move along.




This should be "to whom". It's an object.




I don't know why you'd use "whoever" instead of "who" here. It doesn't make much sense. This way, it reads like, "Whoever the person that confesses to me is, and whoever the person I reject is, they are none of your business."
What's not her business is not the people but Iori's involvement with them.




I can't figure out what you were trying to say by changing "We need to finish before post-exam vacations!" to this.
This wording just doesn't make any sense.




Csiko:




It's not exactly a mistake, but Hanekawa and Senjougahara speak very properly, so this is quite out of character.




Same here.




I don't think this was the best way of inserting the "or maybe not" part. Em-dashes seem like the obvious solution.
Even commas would work better than this.




As many people don't seem to realize, "then" is not a conjunction, so this is wrong.
Also, this is a list of 3 things, so there should be no "I" in the third one.
The elements of lists should always be parallel in construction.




No comma. Also, if you want to emphasize the "had", it would be better as "did have".




This sentence is a bit complicated and unclear. What exactly does the last part tie into?
"person who'd hang out / person who'd refuse to hang out / person who'd refuse to let anyone hang out"?
You can eliminate the first option by changing "or hang out" to "or to hang out".
It might also help to move things around:
"You thought I was the kinda person who'd refuse to hang out with someone outside school or (to) let them into her room?"
(But a nice 3-liner.) Also, Hanekawa wouldn't say "kinda".




The streaming tears weren't what she got slapped with. To make it clear, use a comma or alter the syntax.




No comma.




Again, "then" is not a conjunction here. It's either "shower. Then" or "shower, and then".




...as opposed to sleep now? This would benefit from a comma.




How about this later, Senjougahara? Similar case.




Rather meaningles interjections like this may be up for debate regarding commas, but there should at least be some consistency.




As Hanekawa speaks properly, this should be "my meeting the tiger".




This is not really a mistake, but from an editing standpoint, it could use some improvement:
"That's why I'm uttering these words for the fitst time in my life..."




"From the time a signal turns red, to the time the signals perpendicular to it turn green, there's about three seconds of time lag."
I don't see why there should be a comma after "red".




"No wait" without a comma is pretty weird.




Comma splice.




Nothing wrong with the line, but why would you have such terrible linebreaks? -_-




The Japanese audio has 8 words. This translation/edit has 19 words and is totally unreadable in the 2 seconds it gets.
That should also be the editor's job to consider, but I think I know like two editors who do that. =/




DxS:




DxS, just like herkz and others in Commie, thinks that "then" is a conjunction. It's not.




Whoever does what? Whoever does I'll be taking hostage? This does not follow logically.




Again, "then" is not a conjunction. "I'll try it and then bash it."
Alternatively: "I'll try it. Then(,) I'll bash it."




This misuse of a comma is so pathetic it's painful to watch. (<-- hint) Not only does herkz do it all the goddamn time, but others seem to be having trouble with this too.




Not a big deal, since I doubt anyone cares, but I'm pretty sure that this is not how you spell "Astaroth".




This is not really a mistake, but the "wearing lying" part could be improved. Was Yukimura lying around while wearing the uniform? The phrasing is just poor.




Please... stop making a habit out of this. T_T




DxS please. Don't try to be like brainchild and herkz. This doesn't make sense outside of Commie.




Oh man, here we go. The subs were pretty decent so far, but episode 6 had like half of the mistakes from the whole show, largely due to having no clue what to do with EME.
You start with "Thou art" but end with "are ye". How does that make any sense?
Obviously, the ending needs to be "art thou not".
"Thou art" is singular; "ye are" is plural.




Since thou decided to use EME, thou hast no choice but follow through with it. A clue for thee hath been included.




Thou hast not been able to learn the forms of verbs used with "thou".




I was considering pointing out that "thy own" should be "thine own", since "own" starts with a vowel, but I dropped it, as it's not entirely true. The usage of both variants has been allowed, historically. However...




...you then had to go and use "thine" before a consonant, which doesn't make any sense. You should either do it the other way round, or use "thy" everywhere (except "this is thine").




"Last but not least"




thy ... thy




thy




"If thou dost this without spilling the water, the moon shall bless thee,"




...which is funny because you got it right here. If you have no idea what you're doing, at least try to do it consistently.




This is a comma splice. It's not terrible, but it's not great either.




I would recommend "life-and-death struggle". Otherwise, it can be misread as "long and terrifying life" and "death struggle".
(The linebreak helps, but it's not like it's intentional, is it?)




Another comma splice. No big deal. Just saying.




You're definitely missing a comma here, and I hope I don't have to tell you where.




Comma before "and".




The "around forever" part could be phrased better, like "Stop dragging your past around all the time".
Also, there should be a comma before "and".




The second line is a new sentence and thus should be capitalized.




Comma after "well".




Comma after "back". Not entirely necessary, but it would be a lot better.




This definitely needs a comma after "snacks", unless you're trying to say that after Maria eats snacks, she eats leaves.




You have contracted the Commie Contracting Disease. Contractions are not always better. Somebody who uses "for" in place of "because" will most likely not contract "I am". It sounds pretty dumb when you say it out loud.




Any more of this'd be bad'd be really bad. I don't know what's so cool about making contractions that are harder to pronounce than the full version.




Exclamation mark in the wrong place.





Haidaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:







Hdr turned himself in and confessed that the next episode title is from the previous week.





skiddiks:







You're so bad (notice there's no comma here) it's like you're herkz.




has shot up




I suppose this is not completely out of the question, but at least a comma after "now" would be nice.




missing a period




With the comma, it sounds like "I'll tell them no matter what", but I'm pretty sure from context that the meaning was "to not come into my room no matter what".




This can be read as "I heard they can make slice of life anime only because regulations are so strict nowadays."
In other words, without strict regulations, they couldn't make SOL anime.
But what she's saying is that because of the regulations, they can only make SOL and not other kinds of anime.
Therefore, a comma after "anime" would help, and in fact, move the "nowadays" after "anime".
It should probably also be "I've heard" since there's no reference time given. It should also definitely be "slice-of-life anime".
"I've heard they can only make slice-of-life anime nowadays, because regulations are so strict."
If you move the "nowadays", the comma isn't really that important anymore since the misreading is a lot less likely that way.




comma after "day"




Comma after "expressions", otherwise it could be "expressions with a cute smile".




Using "wanna" for "want a" instead of "want to" is kinda bad, especially when "picture" can be both a noun and a verb.




Why the hell do you have hyphens here?




Since it's not happening, you should say "the bugs would eat me alive" (if it was happening).




"?




> where're. skiddiks please.




Forgetting commas are we? Also, since you went for "are we", I'd suggest dropping the "your".




I said there should be no comma in a sentence like this.




No comma here either. You have to kind of acknowledge that most CR scripts get commas wrong half of the time, if not more.




Please. That's not what okaasan said!




Then. Is. Not. A. Conjunction.




If only ... were passed




No big deal, but I'm pretty sure this is a lot more likely to be "Girls' Restroom" or "Ladies' Restroom".




extra space there...




That's a pretty bad comma splice.




AT times like this. Otherwise you're saying, "Someone would notice you're around only times like this."




Commie splice.




Bad commie. I mean, bad comma. The second part is restrictive.




skiddiks please. Don't be herkz. It's really bad.




I suppose you could argue that this could be nonrestrictive, but I think it makes more sense as restrictive, without the comma.
Also, it's "near-death experience".




"liberal-arts related"




"doubt there's any eight-grader who knows more ... than I do"
"doubt there's any other eight-grader who knows as much ... as I do"
If you use "any other ... who knows more", then you're saying there already is one (or more) who know(s) more (than I do).